I felt I had failed. I wasn't getting anywhere the novelty of the life I’d experienced for 3 years was replaced by something much harder. 

everyday life wore a straight face.

I felt like an intruder in this new life. 

the new landscape was a major challenge. I didn’t know anyone in the area and it felt (despite the posh houses) harsh.

London harsh. 

emotionally I was pretty numb.

but however uncertain I felt about all the challenges awaiting me, I found ways to survive.